How to Sleep When Stressed: What Works for a Racing, Anxious Mind

To sleep when you're stressed, deal with the worry before bed instead of in bed: spend 10 to 15 minutes in the early evening writing down what's on your mind and one next step for each item, then keep a steady wake time, wind down with slow breathing, and get out of bed if you're still awake after about 20 minutes. These come from cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), the treatment sleep doctors recommend first for ongoing sleep problems.

One stressful night is normal and usually passes. The steps below help stop a few bad nights from turning into a habit. If you also want a bedtime that lines up with your sleep cycles, the sleep calculator works it out from your wake time.

Why can't I sleep when I'm stressed?

Stress keeps your mind in problem-solving mode, and bed is often the first quiet moment you've had all day. Worry is a known driver of pre-sleep arousal, the wired, alert state that makes it hard to drift off.

The longer you lie awake worrying, the more your brain links the bed with being awake. That's why the fixes below focus on two things: moving the thinking to another time, and keeping the bed for sleep.

How do I stop overthinking at night?

Give your worries a set time earlier in the evening, and write them down with a next step for each. This is often called scheduled worry time or "constructive worry."

In a controlled study of college students with insomnia, those who spent five evenings writing their worries alongside possible solutions had less pre-sleep mental arousal than a group who only wrote down their worries. Here's a simple version:

1. Pick a time 1 to 3 hours before bed. Sit somewhere other than your bed.
2. Draw two columns. On the left, write each worry. On the right, write the next small step, or "nothing I can do tonight."
3. Stop after 10 to 15 minutes. Close the notebook. That's the day's worrying done.
4. If a worry comes back in bed, remind yourself it's already on the list and has a time tomorrow.

A to-do list helps too. In a sleep-lab study, young adults who spent 5 minutes writing a specific to-do list for the next few days fell asleep faster than those who wrote about tasks they had already finished. The more specific the list, the faster they fell asleep.

How do I sleep when I'm stressed about work?

Close the workday on paper, then put a buffer between work and bed. Work stress tends to follow you home through unfinished tasks and late messages.

• End-of-day list: before you log off, write tomorrow's top three tasks. That's the to-do list trick, done earlier.
• Set a cutoff for email and messages, ideally an hour or more before bed. Each message can restart the problem-solving loop.
• Keep your wake time the same, even after a bad night. Sleeping in on stressful weeks shifts your body clock and can make the next night harder.
• Watch the afternoon coffee. Stressful days often mean more caffeine, and caffeine stays in your system for hours. The caffeine calculator shows how much is left at bedtime.

How do I calm down and sleep when I'm anxious?

Slow your breathing and relax your body first, then let your mind follow. Relaxation therapy is one of the single techniques the American Academy of Sleep Medicine suggests for chronic insomnia.

A simple routine for the last 10 minutes before lights out:

• Breathe slowly, with the out-breath longer than the in-breath, for example in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 6.
• Tense and release muscle groups, working from your feet up to your face.
• Keep the room dark and cool, and the phone out of reach.

Pick whichever feels easiest and do it every night, not just bad ones. These are calming techniques, not treatments for an anxiety disorder.

What should I do if I can't fall asleep?

If you've been awake for what feels like about 20 minutes, get up, go somewhere dim and do something calm until you feel sleepy, then go back to bed. Don't check the clock to measure it; a rough sense is enough.

This is stimulus control, another CBT-I component the AASM suggests on its own. It feels backward, but it breaks the link between bed and lying awake. Read a paper book or fold laundry. Avoid work, news and your phone. For more on this, see lying in bed awake.

Pair it with a steady schedule. Pick your wake time first, then count back. Bedtime = wake time minus 15 minutes to fall asleep minus 90-minute cycles. For a 7:00 AM alarm, five cycles gives an 11:15 PM bedtime, and six gives 9:45 PM. Use the sleep calculator for your own times.

How do I sleep the night before an exam?

Study earlier, keep your normal bedtime and use the same to-do list trick for the next day. Pulling an all-nighter usually costs more than the extra hours of studying gain. A short written plan for the morning (what to review, what to bring, when to leave) gives your mind somewhere to put the night's worries. For a full plan, see how to sleep before an exam.

Should I see a doctor about stress and sleep?

See a doctor if poor sleep lasts more than a few weeks, affects your days, or comes with ongoing anxiety or low mood. Insomnia that sticks around is very treatable, and the AASM's strongest recommendation is full CBT-I, which a doctor or sleep psychologist can provide or refer you to.

Also see a doctor if you snore loudly, gasp or stop breathing at night, or feel very sleepy during the day. If you ever feel unsafe or have thoughts of harming yourself, contact emergency services or a crisis line right away. For a structured, at-home version of one CBT-I technique, see sleep restriction therapy, ideally with a clinician's guidance.